Morning Pages – Forever Searching for Images

Going for the words this morning. Candlelight wind blowing – light comes in and back out. Can’t see where the words even go most moments. Nonsense. We write nonsense. Time to step sideways. That’s where the good stuff lies. Always in the middle.

And I digress and digress. You gotta love those rhizomes.

I can get all academic on you – believe it. You won’t know what the hell I’m talking about. Like you do now, right?

Candle went out – wind did its thing. Writing words in the dark. Scared? Me too. Seriously. Can’t see a thing by the starlight. And there’s only one up there peeking through the clouds. Just words on the paper. Keep going. Find the images.

Life these days – visual images everywhere. Oh! I have seen so many fascinating images these last few days. Now I need TIME to ponder them and look deeply inside of them. Waiting for them to tell me their secrets.

Remember what I told you. Everything has a secret. Everyone has a secret(s). And it isn’t always dark. I’ve found, if you’re patient – stop laughing, I am capable of such a thing when it comes to this! – there are secrets that are beautiful beyond measure. Beyond words surely.

And am I digressing again?

Thank God!

Digressions mean side roads and sideways and that’s the ONLY place to be. Heaven. Reality over there. Sideways here.

That ocean. Blue, green, or brown. Who cares at this point? So magnificent and scary and the ESSENCE of sideways. Just sucks me in. I could ponder it forever.

Now comes the rain. And yeah – I’m a little crazy they say. Sitting in the rain at 4 am, writing by candlelight that keeps flickering in and out, writing nonsense.

Looking at pictures of Key West and I can hear the old old ones calling to me. Soon soon. I’m headed there soon. Speak to the spirits. You know they survived the hurricane. Yep.

Alex called these sideways trips Night Flights. He was better at it than I am. Oh! You find some amazing things when you fly.

Keep writing, Cookie. (That was him, not me!)

Cookie, Cuki – sounds the same. Took me TWO days to see that!! Goosebumps. You tell me? What the hell does that mean? I may talk the talk about spirits but I am cynical as hell. The reality of me is grounded on terra firma and scoffs at such things. But in the sideways – well, you gotta wonder at this one! What are the odds?? The name of the damn ghost ship is CUKI.

Something is going on here. But I’m not going to ponder it. Things are such as they are, right, old man? And I am quite happy in my here and now. Very, very happy.

I’m getting so much better at this BE HERE NOW business. Hard work at first but now I am sliding through this life just absorbing all this universe offers me. And my God, so much of it is AWESOME!

Awesome. Some poet I am. Ridiculous word if you think about it.

Off we go again. Back to the images and their secrets.

I’m going to ponder that shell shard with the carvings. I held that in the palm of my hand! Buried for how long?

Oh, the spirits speak. Feel them? Who did the etching? Man, woman? Research time. Why do I need to know that? Images again. There is a poem in that fragment and I intend to find it.

Imagine! That tiny sliver of shell holds how many stories? Hold on captain – so many stories to share!

TRAIN.

I am distracted so easily.

Now I am thinking about trains.

Much to do today. Classes tonight and I need to finish reading and writing my seminar paper proposal. Classes. Most often take me sideways. And I will drive home through the tears. As always. Because I long to call him and talk talk talk about all the amazing ideas that these classes stir up. And he would listen. Used to listen. Do you think he is still listening?

Most people get tired real fast of my ramblings. That’s okay. I don’t hold it against you.

Amazing! You’re either an idiot or you like me enough to wade through all of that nonsense.

Almost time for the sunrise – the universe awaits. The clouds blow by and the stars are in the sky calling to me….

Go forth and do something stellar today!

Peace to you today, Karen